Even A Jerk Like You
by MelodiousBloodshed
Summary: Sometimes, even when someone hurts you as deeply as Seto had hurt him, you can't help but try to piece yourself back together and take care of them. Puppyshipping, angst. Chibishipping too. It's up in the air for a happy ending, so please don't expect it.
1. Christmas: The Office

_**Title: Even A Jerk Like You (No One Should Be Alone On Christmas)**_

_**Pairing: slight Puppyshipping**_

_**Words: 937**_

_**Warnings: No fluff. Just hurt and hints at shit that might go down.**_

_**Summery: Sometimes, even when someone hurts you as deeply as Seto had hurt him, you can't help but try to piece yourself back together and take care of them. Puppyshipping, angst.**_

_**Chapters: One for now. Toying with the idea of writing another from Seto's half-perspective.**_

_**Authors Notes: Check the bottom.**_

It had been years since they had seen each other.

Years since they fought, years since they became lovers, years since Joey's heart had been shattered.

Years since Joey last cried.

It wasn't by accident. No, Joey meant to see Seto. He had to-he was interviewing to be his secretary after all.

The holiday season had snuck up on the recent collage graduate, and he found that he needed a job. Seto's-_Kaiba's_, Joey reminded himself-last secretary had just quit, claiming to be unable to 'put up with Kaiba's emotional shit'.

Joey was rather good at that, so he decided that was what he was going to try for.

Things went well-neither yelled, nor cried, nor tried to drudge up the past. They merely went through the interview and Joey found himself with a career.

Christmas was a week away, and Joey was working like a madman. He was being paid a hefty price, and he was earning every cent if it killed him. He knew more now about Seto than maybe even Seto himself did-more than when they were intimate with each other, that was for sure.

Because that's all it had been, according to what the CEO had told him. Sex and kissing. Sex and kissing. Sex and kissing.

But it hadn't been,. Not for Joey.

It was quite by accident that Joey discovered that Seto was alone this holiday. Mokuba's flight had been cancelled due to snow, and for some ridiculous, foolish reason, the thought of the other by himself on Christmas just killed him inside. Instead of cancelling Seto's day off, he decided on the end of the day and said that during that time, Seto would be unavailable for personal reasons. Then he set about getting a tiny tree and some ornaments-he'd get there early in the morning and put everything up the day of Christmas, even if it was his day off.

To say he'd shocked the brunet was a gross understatement. The workaholic stood gaping for a moment and turned to his secretary, who was busying himself with arranging a few boxes beneath the tree.

There was an awkward silence for a long time, but eventually, Seto sat beside Joey on the small couch in the office.

"I don't know what to say."

"Thanks would suffice."

"Not about that. I didn't get you anything.""You gave me a job. I think we're even. Not that my presents for you are as good, but it's something."

"That doesn't count. I gave you the job because you deserved it, not as a gift."

"Don't worry. It's better than being given a gift but no job.""I still don't have anything for you.""I know."

More silence, and Joey handed Seto the boxes.

"Well, tear into them."

The elder did, finding a scarf, hat, and gloves, all woven in white and blue, small silver trimmings here and there.

"I saw you didn't ever wear any, and decided I didn't want you to freeze to death."

"Thank you, they're beautiful. Where did you get them?"

"I didn't. I made them."

A brown brow arched, but its owner opened yet another box, greeted by more cloth. It was a blue and white blanket, plain save for the tassels on the outside that kept it together, and wrapped in it was a worry doll.

"I know you don't believe in the whole magic thing, but I thought you'd appreciate the idea of how this one works. You leave it under your pillow and think of your problems before you go to sleep, and you're supposed to wake up to find them fixed or with an idea of how to fix them."

There was more silence, and this time, it was Joey who broke it.

"I have to go-I promised Serenity that I'd meet her for lunch. Do you want to come along?"

"I don't want to intrude, but thank you."

"You won't intrude-I told her you were going to be alone and she asked me to ask you.""…Then I'll come to keep from being rude.""I thought you might."

They were together the rest of the day and though it was extremely awkward, Seto was glad Joey was making such an effort to give him company.

Which is why they found themselves at his door, saying goodnights and wishing each other a happy holiday.

"I guess this is a silly question, but any hope of Moki coming home for New Years?"

"No. He has other plans that day-he's proposing. To your best friend, actually."

"Finally? I've been wondering why it took so long. Makes sense. Smooth of him."

Silence, and then, "Well, I'm going to head home. Happy Christmas, Kaiba."

He went to turn, and Seto grabbed his wrist.

"…Would you like to stay?"

"What?""Would you like to stay here?"

"I don't know, Kaiba. That might not be the smartest thing."Because he knew he'd go to sleep crying, and that was the last thing he wanted on Christmas.

"I've missed you."

It threw Joey off, but he'd heard it loud and clear.

"…You can't exactly blame me for that one."

"I know."

Being Joey, the blond turned to the house and gave a weak smile.

"Let's go inside before we catch our death."

It wasn't a romantic night full of sex and want and all the other things Seto had claimed to have wanted from their relationship before, if it could've even been called that. It was innocent, the two sharing a bed and nothing more, but that said more than an 'I'm sorry' ever could, and for that moment, Joey was okay with that.

…_**God, this was so hard to write.**_

_**I wanted to try a new style of writing, one that wasn't so personal and…well…omnipotent… and ended up writing what will never happen to me and therefore making it more personal. Well, to me. I was doing so well until they were saying goodnight, and I started crying-I thought I had gotten over my 'dragon' and I hadn't. Haven't. Won't. But this will never happen, and I'm tired of being unable to write the pairing we're so similar to.**_

_**I'm terribly sorry if my puppyshipping from now on is terribly bittersweet, but I'm writing from a more realistic point of view now.**_

_**Happy holidays, everybody. Merry Chrismannakwanzaa. Or, for people like me who are agnostic (or atheist), happy season-where-you-get-shit-because-other-religions-do.**_

_**~MelodiousBloodshed**_


	2. The Day After Christmas: Seto's House

Seto woke to the sound of a phone ringing and automatically wondered why there was yellow fluff in his face.

The owner of the fluff let out a low moan of frustration and slammed his hand over the phone ringing and vibrating on the elder's nightstand and slid his finger across the touchscreen. "'Llo?"

There was a higher-pitched voice on the other end, and as Joey brightened a bit and starting chatting with the newly-engaged Duel King, Seto realized that they were as tangled up as two people could be with clothes on, Joey's legs wound with his and his arms-traitorous things!-wrapped around the blond's waist tightly, holding him to his chest.

"Yeah, congratulations! I knew he was gonna-Seto told me." There was a sound of confusion, and Joey laughed. "No, no, he's not upset about it-I think he kinda agrees that it's time." Honey eyes slid up to meet sapphire, and he asked, "Don't you?" "Yes. I was tired of the worry-I don't like when my brother is unhappy."

…This brought on a nearly panicked reaction from Yugi, and Joey rolled his eyes, smiling a little. "No, I just stayed over. He didn't want me walking home in the cold or some shit, and I didn't feel like leaving him alone on Christmas. You know me, I'm a giver." Seto rolled his eyes at this, though still mortified-shit, what if he found out it hadn't been…?-and Joey laughed. "Yeah, yeah. Well, happy belated Christmas. Go do whatever it is fiancées do the day after Christmas, alright? Love you, chibi-otouto. Bye."

He put his phone back on the nightstand and lay his head back down on Seto's chest, nuzzling closer and seeming more than content to go back to sleep. Stupid as it was, Seto couldn't bring himself to mind either, and he joined him, moving his arms from Joey's waist to around his shoulders, one hand going up to tangle in his hair once he was sure the other was asleep.

And maybe it was his imagination, but he swore he saw him smile.

When they finally pulled themselves from bed, the awkwardness was back. At least, for Seto it was. Joey, however…

"Hey, can I borrow some clothes?"

"Why can't you just stay up here while I throw them in the wash?""I wanna make breakfast, that's why. Goddamn, Kaiba, do you ever eat in private?"Oh, Gods, he wanted to fatten him up! Diffuse! Diffuse!

"I do, actually. I'll make-""No! I crashed here last night, I'm making breakfast. Get me some clothes, get your ass back in bed, and let me feed you, alright? I'm trying to be nice."

Well, shit. That's what made him fall for him last time. Shit.

"No, really, I can-"

There was fire in Joey's eyes.

"Get. Me. Clothes. NOW. Then. Get. Back. In. BED before I kick your ASS!"

…he had no desire to be beaten the shit out of on the day after Christmas. He may wipe the floor with Joey while dueling, but he knew the other had been a yakuza and was not taking his chances in a fist fight.

"…"

He went to the closet and grabbed one of the biggest shirts he had, remembering somehow that the other preferred to wear only a large teeshirt and his boxers to cook.

Obviously, Joey was surprised at this, but tugged the shirt over his head and grinned when the hem hit just below his boxers' hems.

"Thanks."

And as he walked off, Seto tried to tell himself he wasn't admiring the other's legs or the way he looked in his clothes.

When breakfast was done with, Joey left. Seto knew he would, but he found himself wishing he wouldn't, though he didn't try to stop him. He was flashed a smile and thanked, and when Joey looked up at him with that expression it made him want to kiss him til he was dazed, throw him over his shoulder, run back up to his room and-

…and he didn't know after that. He wanted sex, yes-he'd been celibate since refusing the other merely because no one else could arouse him anymore-but… He didn't. Not just sex. And it confused him as much as it had when he'd gotten so angry at the other for making him feel so much.

Because that's what his blowup had been. Not hate. Not disdain. Confusion. And fear. And…

And as much as it still pained him to know, love.

And he'd thrown his chance away years ago.

…_**This is entirely guesswork. I can write Joey well because I am coming from his viewpoint. I cannot write Seto well because I'm not from his.**_

_**I am hoping to write a chapter every day though I won't be able to post them that way (I'll post all I have written whenever I get the chance). These will be unbeta-ed. They may or may not end happily depending on what happens in my life. Some of these instances will happen, though most (especially the happy ones) will be made up, or dreams I've had.**_

_**Thank you for reading my soul. Thank you for letting me get this out the way I need to, and giving me such kind reactions.**_

_**Thank you.**_

_**~Mel**_


	3. December 27: Back at the Office

There was no denying how odd it was to go to work the next day, because neither of them was awkward. Joey was chattery and Seto was responsive. They ate lunch together and there was no yelling. It was really nice, Joey decided, to be in this in-between state.

They talked about Tristan, Duke, and Tea, and how long it had been since they'd seen them-not very long for the first two, as Duke's base was in Domino as well and Tristan wasn't leaving his side, a long while for Tea for both of them as she had gone elsewhere to dance.

Mokuba was brought up, and they both had a sentimental moment of, 'ah, remember when he was so tiny and had a huge grudge against Yugi for beating you so much?'

And of course, they laughed about their fights.

"I still think I won in the end."  
>"Of course you do. You're you."<br>"And your point is?"  
>"There is no way either of us 'won'. We threw insults back and forth and I got held back from hitting you."<br>"So I won because you never got the last word."  
>"I did once."<p>

Joey's eyes widened as he realized what he'd said, but other than that, he betrayed no evidence of regret for the comment. Seto took it smoothly, replying, "And if you'll remember, I let you."

"How do you figure that?"  
>"Would I ever publicly humiliate myself without an ulterior motive?"<p>

"…that's what I thought."  
>"…it still counts."<br>"That wasn't our last fight."  
>"I don't like thinking about that one."<br>"Neither do I."

Then they sat in silence a while, chewing thoughtfully.

"You know that song, the one by that Phair chick? Take A Look?"  
>"No."<br>"Hm. It reminds me of you."  
>"I'll have to take your word for it."<br>"Hey, she's not a dreadful singer…and it's not one of her bold songs like Rock Me. It's…"

He bit his lip, pondering what he should say, and didn't notice the other's eyes darting to the movement then hurriedly flicking away.

"…it's not really sad. It's bittersweet."  
>"So you're saying I'm bittersweet?""Yeah. Yeah I am."<p>

…that was not the response Seto was expecting. At all.

"…how…?"  
>"I don't like talking about it."<p>

Seto nodded.

"That's fair."  
>"Maybe some lunch break, but not this one."<p>

The ringing of the phone made Joey curse softly, and Seto's lips quirked up in a smile.

"Don't speak to my associates like that, please?"

Joey flipped him the bird on the way out, but he was grinning and shaking his head.

"Hello, this is Seto Kaiba's office, Joey Wheeler speaking, how may I help you?" A pause. "Oh, hey, Duke! We were just talking about you. All good things, I promise. The new projector series? Yeah, I'm sure there's a timeslot we could use there. Alright, three p.m. on the sixth sound okay to you? I'll let him know. Say hi to Tris for me, yeah? Thanks. Bye."

He was still smiling when he came back into Seto's office and plopped down in the chair he had dubbed as 'his' because hardly anyone else ever sat in it.

"So, Duke wants to do a collaboration now that his game is more original. Meeting's at three two Thursdays from now."  
>"Alright."<p>

More silence as Joey munched the rest of his sandwich down.

"…I lied. That song doesn't completely remind me of you.""Oh?""The end is wrong. I did see you again."  
>"Yes, you did."<br>"The rest is pretty accurate though."  
>"You're expecting me to listen to it now aren't you?"<br>"Yeah."  
>"We'll see."<br>"That's better than a no."

Joey finished off his chips and laughed at Seto, who was shaking his head as if to say, 'you're impossible.'

"…you're impossible."  
>"I know. But I keep things interesting."<p>

He gathered up his trash and put it in the trashcan on the way out, whistling to himself as he went back to his desk.

"Yes you do, mutt. Yes you do."

_**So! Guess who I stayed up until six in the morning talking to last night? That's right! My 'dragon'! And things are…kinda civil? We're still capable of pissing each other off, but it's not as bad as it was and we talked through some shit. She's just as confused as me. More so, I think. **_

_**I give her reason to be.**_

_**But! I don't just hurt anymore. I'm happy right now, and that's a thing I haven't truly been in months.**_

_**She's really good at fucking me up, you see.**_

_**But! Things are okay now. God only knows if she'll read this again, but if she does, I hope she sees how much that five hour conversation helped me. **_

_**Also sorry for the random, but hey-that's me.**_

_**Thank you for reading. Sorry for not updating yesterday, but it felt odd being all caddywonkus with the days-I was writing about the future in past tense and it wigged me out! *laughs***_

_**Hosta la bye-bye, loves!**_

_**~MelodiousBloodshed~!**_


End file.
